*
.
I sat smoking one
seeing if
taking some oxygen
away would line up
with my perceptions
.
it was painful some
and a relief
to make my body suffer
a bit
nearing the feelings
my heart was soaking in
.
I swallowed some
.
fire – down my throat – calmly
.
it burned the side of my tongue
.
before running down
the minute it will hit
my liver it will make it nuts
striving – trying to process it
and my soul
.
my heart would not
have the full attention
for once
.
that’s why I was doing it
experimenting
how to deviate pain
–
how to defeat confusion
by confusing my own
physical body
as the pain of the heart
is hard to tame
.
.
brilliant. this whole series is so vulnerable and identifiable. thank you.
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