*

.

I sat smoking one

seeing if

taking some oxygen

away would line up

with my perceptions

.

it was painful some

and a relief

to make my body suffer

a bit

nearing the feelings

my heart was soaking in

.

I swallowed some

.

fire – down my throat – calmly

.

it burned the side of my tongue

.

before running down

the minute it will hit

my liver it will make it nuts

striving – trying to process it

and my soul

.

my heart would not

have the full attention

for once

.

that’s why I was doing it

experimenting

how to deviate pain

–

how to defeat confusion

by confusing my own

physical body

as the pain of the heart

is hard to tame