Tag Archives: life

Summer A/C – A Six Months Diary Recollection In Five Parts – Life Is Complicated

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1.

I had to get A/C

this summer

I had no choice

.

not the one that refreshes you

the one that burns inside

called chemotherapy

.

red not the least

that’s how they call it

abroad Red Devil

.

2.

after a springtime

quite upsetting

first the diagnosis

.

then the tests results

always the opposite

of what I was hoping for

.

the metastasis going

thank goodness mine was a slow one

the hospitalization the surgery

.

3.

came recovery from surgery

infinite the time of the drainages and edemas

and the infection at the expander inserted

.

we made it just in time

right by the wee day to get to

the medical therapy necessary

.

considered the difficult nature

of the cells mutated in the darkness

of my perfect body as I saw it

.

4.

this A/C is hell

inside of you the portable one

it goes in up your veins all around

.

inside your body

attaching every single cells

you can feel it scorching them

.

you try to go on with your day

– I will rest I will get over this –

but you spend your time

.

listening to set off alarms

to observe what is going on

now in the central part

.

of your poor body

a planet on fire every thing burning

a country invaded

.

busy to defend itself

to free itself confused holds in and release

you sail – filled up with nausea

.

every thing moves

but not you – you have to be still

in the dark in the shadow

.

nowhere to be found it’s the torrid summer

everyone is on holiday at the sea or where is fresh

and you child of the sun – to live –

.

you got your A/C and you stayed home

with nausea but not from a boat

hot flashes but not from the beach

.

transformed in the fugitive of light and heat

as they seem to be the unnecessary flames

that lights the gas in my veins

.

5.

I go out after sunset a bit

if I manage four steps and a bit of a chat

otherwise I observe I lay and lose

.

the good cells and the disobeying ones

the digestive and intestinal

order I have always had so far

.

I observe perplexed this war

my body lives amplified

I though surgery was the worse part

.

almost as observing earth

from far away consuming itself in conflicts

on my top I become the moon

.

on my night pillow I don’t spread any more

the constellations of the serene nights

of my long white hair scattered

.

now I find the stubs of my very short hair

what is left until I will be shiny on top with a new shape

I will have to get used to that too

.

at the end of this complete makeover

that would not leave anything unturned

what light will ever shine out of me

.

The New Territory

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the new territory

I found myself on

.

this not knowing

all I could know

.

waiting long days

molding thoughts

.

making the dark

ones captive

.

feeling your body

changing under

your finger tips

.

If I could

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if I could just scan

the soil and the earth

looking for ghosts

.

lingering

.

looking for

someone they pretend

they lost

.

taking time

.

while we blindly go

continuing our lives

.

Possibilities

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tall piles of books
tall piles of paper
tall piles of drawings
tall piles of note taking
tall piles of poems scribbled

a few empty jars cleaned out
I live in my ideal city pushed
back in the corner I sit
each title a windows’
line each space

a possibility

.

To The End

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*
we all walk
bundled up on
winter days
but the dogs

jump for joy

the old man
will not sit by
his fire he takes
himself out

slowly stretching
his steps next
to the lines
of poplars

he will walk to
the end not
a thought
of surrender

.

© 2013

.

To Keep Me Standing

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out of the dark gray morning
the turtle dove calls

same song she plays
on all seasons to call me

out of sleep into the awakened
daily life the tiresome day life

that holds a song or two
such as hers
to keep me standing
.

.

In Sickness – Three Steps

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1.

winter came early

this year to me

and to so many

others counting

the dead ones

holding tight

to a thin opening

of breath whistling

almost in an out my

house old all of a sudden

2.

I do repeat I love you

to my self five times

at day more really

because it helps

my lungs relax

I feel larger

than life

simply

saying

to myself

I do love you

hold on tightly

3.

all shall pass one day

not today maybe

please not

today

.

.

Chapel of the 1348 -1478- 1576-1930 Plague, Italy.

.

A Different Point Of View

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I may indulge

in upside down

visions a different

point of

view

.

giving you pictures

of reflections

shadows clouds

and waters

.

all fleeting

all temporarily

true

.

You can view me, reading this poem for you, here.

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