*
was dreaming of
sunny awakenings
sweet cuddling and words
few – tight together
.
was getting out to say
good morning – gratitude
will not fail me
a smile in spite
of everything
.
I will hold
happiness
between
my hands
.

*
was dreaming of
sunny awakenings
sweet cuddling and words
few – tight together
.
was getting out to say
good morning – gratitude
will not fail me
a smile in spite
of everything
.
I will hold
happiness
between
my hands
.
*
solitude is the place
of clear listening
a shining
meadow
.
there we are
given the privilege
of grasping what fills
the apparently invisible
*
let solitude be
my greater passion
the place in which
my life thrives
.
.
*
the struggle to live
that has taken place
within me these past months
is disturbing the deeper
silence I was used to
.
1.
I had to get A/C
this summer
I had no choice
.
not the one that refreshes you
the one that burns inside
called chemotherapy
.
red not the least
that’s how they call it
abroad Red Devil
.
2.
after a springtime
quite upsetting
first the diagnosis
.
then the tests results
always the opposite
of what I was hoping for
.
the metastasis going
thank goodness mine was a slow one
the hospitalization the surgery
.
3.
came recovery from surgery
infinite the time of the drainages and edemas
and the infection at the expander inserted
.
we made it just in time
right by the wee day to get to
the medical therapy necessary
.
considered the difficult nature
of the cells mutated in the darkness
of my perfect body as I saw it
.
4.
this A/C is hell
inside of you the portable one
it goes in up your veins all around
.
inside your body
attaching every single cells
you can feel it scorching them
.
you try to go on with your day
– I will rest I will get over this –
but you spend your time
.
listening to set off alarms
to observe what is going on
now in the central part
.
of your poor body
a planet on fire every thing burning
a country invaded
.
busy to defend itself
to free itself confused holds in and release
you sail – filled up with nausea
.
every thing moves
but not you – you have to be still
in the dark in the shadow
.
nowhere to be found it’s the torrid summer
everyone is on holiday at the sea or where is fresh
and you child of the sun – to live –
.
you got your A/C and you stayed home
with nausea but not from a boat
hot flashes but not from the beach
.
transformed in the fugitive of light and heat
as they seem to be the unnecessary flames
that lights the gas in my veins
.
5.
I go out after sunset a bit
if I manage four steps and a bit of a chat
otherwise I observe I lay and lose
.
the good cells and the disobeying ones
the digestive and intestinal
order I have always had so far
.
I observe perplexed this war
my body lives amplified
I though surgery was the worse part
.
almost as observing earth
from far away consuming itself in conflicts
on my top I become the moon
.
on my night pillow I don’t spread any more
the constellations of the serene nights
of my long white hair scattered
.
now I find the stubs of my very short hair
what is left until I will be shiny on top with a new shape
I will have to get used to that too
.
at the end of this complete makeover
that would not leave anything unturned
what light will ever shine out of me
.
*
to read
to listen
to write
.
three steps
.
to be
to live
to die
.
.
*
waiting for me to stop
to jump on me
poetry leans inside
a fountain
I can drink from it
when I stop
.
.
*
waiting for me to stop
to jump on me
poetry leans inside
a fountain
I can drink from it
when I stop
.
.
*
my gorgeous shell
is broken
in spite of all my care
attention
in spite of people’s
praises
.
some dark spots
where
found inside spreading
they cut me
to pull all of them out
saw me back
.
I still hurt where they
broke me
I lost that harmonic beauty
I need to heal
time is what I paid all of this for
to have more
.
.
*
I feel the suffering
of my own body
the struggle yet
.
feeling not fighting
.
allows serenity
to surge to grow rich
in pain to rise up
,
*
the June thunderstorms
are a joy for my garden
and I
my body giving in to rest
with the parched trees
.
*
with poems I color
my emotions of new hues
stretch the perimeters
.
grasp a dreamed story
giving it legitimacy
the gifts are shared
.
my soul’s eyes scan
the air around of me
the breath of God
.
the most soft of nests
I am watching myself
growing with as I create
.
*
my mind is resisting
as of now
the good side of this
the pain
only the pain is loud
.
*
what if I told you
to send me water
.
as everyone is
busy sending me light
.
may healing come
without parching
in a bath of light
.
as well as sipping
in all the water
.
I need to stand
tall once more
.
*
in silence
is solace
is healing
.
in silence
sleeps comes
taking me places
.
while my healing
is weaved inside
my wounded body
.
silence is planning
my next steps to
warn off the enemy
.
that came inside
as shift as a thief
the cancerous cells
.